The If Agency

Thank footie it's Friday

Alright. You've had the weekend to recover. so now I just about feel safe to mention the 2010 World Cup.
by Jo Whiteley

Now we would all like to say we’re not Chavs at if. But, if anyone stopped by last Friday they might have other ideas. That Friday (poor deluded fools we were) if’s team supported our England lads by holding our “Who’s the Chaviest footie fan” fancy-dress contest. From the turnout, even I’m having my doubts we’re not all closet Chavs.

True, like the other important event last Friday, there wasn’t much football involved (unless you count our table footie contest, where our players were much less wooden) but, unlike England, our team took to the task with passion.

The highlights:

Among the mess of football, shirts, trackie bottoms, hoodies, tattoos and face-paint:Janine – Chavtastic “You Scored” t-shirt and huge WAG earrings, with massive British Bulldog tattoo.

Laura – full-on velour WAG trackies.

Pete – football kit. And can of Stella. And the Sunday Sport.

Laura W – insisted she was too posh to have anything, but scared the locals at lunchtime. Car doors were double-checked.

Me – England flag bling. As much as humanly possible.

Penalty

Gemma – forgot... but made to make brews all day and wear a fetching footie wig.

Man of the Match

Paula – full footie kit, face-paint. The clincher? Chavalicious gelled down side-pony, complete with coloured hair extensions.

Paula’s prize? A keg to watch the footie with -- which I reckon might have come in useful to drown her sorrows.  I mean, was it because the Algerians were the same colour as the pitch so England couldn’t see them to mark them? Or did they think they were in the middle of a game of musical statues rather than footie? Or are they just too overpaid to even care anymore?

Okay, you’re right. Wednesday is another day...COME ON LADS.

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